Thursday, November 22, 2012

Part Five

We had broken so many laws, and today we have broken one more.  Today, we spoke to the Golden One.  The other women were far off in the field, when we stopped at the hedge by the side of the road.  The Golden One were kneeling alone at the moat which runs through the field.  And the drops of water falling from their hands, as they raised the water to their lips, were like sparks of fire in the sun.  The Golden One saw us, and they did not move, kneeling there, looking at us, and circles of light played upon their white tunic, from the sun on the water of the moat, and one sparkling drop fell from a finger of their hand held as frozen in the air. 

Then the Golden One rose and walked to the hedge, as if they had heard a command in our eyes.  The two other Street Sweepers of our brigade were a hundred paces away down the road.  And we thought that International 4-8818 would not betray us, and Union 5-3992 would not understand.  So we looked straight upon the Golden One, and we saw the shadows of their lashes on their white cheeks and the sparks of sun on their lips.  And we said, "You are beautiful, Liberty 5-3000."

Their face did not move and they did not avert their eyes.  Only their eyes grew wider, and there was triumph in their eyes, and it was not triumph over us, but over things we could not guess.  Then they asked, "What is your name?"

"Equality 7-2521," we answered.

"You are not one of our brothers, Equality 7-2521, for we do not wish you to be."

We cannot say what they meant, for there are no words for their meaning, but we know it without words and we knew it then.  "No," we answered, "nor are you one of our sisters."

"If you see us among scores of women, will you look upon us?"

"We shall look upon you, Liberty 5-3000, if we see you among all the women of the earth."

Then they asked, "Are Street Sweepers sent to different parts of the City or do they always work in the same places?"

"They always work in the same places," we answered, "and no one will take this road away from us."

"Your eyes," they said, "are not like the eyes of any among men."

And suddenly, without cause for the thought which came to us, we felt cold; cold to our stomach.  "How old are you?" we asked.

They understood our thought, for they lowered their eyes for the first time.  "Seventeen," they whispered.

And we sighed, as if a burden had been taken from us, for we had been thinking without reason of the Palace of Mating.  And we thought that we would not let the Golden One be sent to the Palace.  How to prevent it, how to bar the will of the Councils, we knew not, but we knew suddenly that we would.  Only we do not know why such thought came to us, for these ugly matters bear no relation to us and the Golden One.  What relation can they bear?

Still, without reason, as we stood there by the hedge, we felt out lips drawn tight with hatred, a sudden hatred for all our brother men.  And the Golden One saw it and smiled slowly, and there was in their smile the first sadness we had seen in them.  We think that in the wisdom of women the Golden One had understood more than we can understand.

Then three of the sisters in the field appeared, coming toward the road, so the Golden One walked away from us.  They took the bag of seeds, and they threw the seeds into the furrows of earth as they walked away.  But the seeds flew wildly, for the hand of the Golden One was trembling.

Yet, as we walked back to the Home of the Street Sweepers, we felt that we wanted to sing, without reason.  So we were reprimanded tonight, in the dining hall, for without knowing it we had begun to sing aloud some tune we had never heard.  But it is not proper to sing without reason, save at the Social Meetings.

"We are singing because we are happy," we answered the one of the Home council who reprimanded us.

"Indeed you are happy," they answered.  "How else can men be when they live for their brothers?"

And now, sitting here in our tunnel, we wonder about these words.  It is forbidden, not to be happy.  For, as it has been explained to us, men are free and the earth belongs to them; and all things on earth belong to all men; and the will of all men together is good for all; and so all men must be happy.  Yet, as we stand at night in the great hall, removing our garments for sleep, we look upon our brothers and we wonder.

The eyes of our brothers are dull, and never do they look one another in the eyes.  The shoulders of our brothers are hunched, and their muscles are drawn, as if their bodies were shrinking and wished to shrink out of sight.  And a word steals into our mind, as we look upon our brothers, and that word is fear.

There is fear handing in the air of the sleeping halls, and in the air of the streets.  Fear walks through the City, fear without name, without shape.  All men feel it and none dare to speak.  We feel it also, when we are in the Home of the Street Sweepers.  But here, in our tunnel, we feel it no longer.  The air is pure under the ground.  There is no odor of men.  And these three hours five us strength for our hours above the ground.

Our body is betraying us, for the Council of the Home looks with suspicion upon us.  It is not good to feel too much joy nor to be glad that our body lives.  For we matter not and it must not matter to us whether we live or die, which is to be as our brothers will it.  But we, Equality 7-2521, are glad to be living.  If this is to be a vice, then we wish no virtue.

Yet our brothers are not like us.  All is not well with our brothers.  There are Fraternity 2-5503, a quiet boy with wise, kind eyes, who cry suddenly, without reason, in the midst of day or night, and their body shakes with sobs they cannot explain.   There are Solidarity 9-6347, who are a bright youth, without fear in the day; but they scream in their sleep, and they scream: "Help us! Help us! Help us!" into the night, in a voice which chills our bones, but the Doctors cannot cure Solidarity 9-6347.

And as we all undress at night, in the dim light of the candles, our brothers are silent, for they dare not speak the thought of their minds.  For all must agree with all, and they cannot know if their thoughts are the thoughts of all, and so they fear to speak.  And they are gland when the candles are blown for the night.  But we, Equality 7-2521, look through the window upon the sky, and there is peace in the sky, and cleanliness, and dignity.  And beyond the City there lies the plain, and beyond the plain, black upon the black sky, there lies the Uncharted Forest.

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