Tuesday, October 29, 2013

Halloweenies

We've got the "War on Christmas".  We've had a ban on the contribution of baked goods and confectionery treats to school holiday parties and fund raisers.

Now?

No Halloween costumes.  It's insensitive to other cultures.

My goodness, how could I have been so blind?  I never realized that the innocent portrayal of fictional characters, political figures, and Walter Mitty-esque alter egos was symptomatic of hidden attributes of racism and (perhaps) an unconscious desire to denigrate others.

The University of Colorado at Boulder has joined other schools and universities in asking students and attendees of Halloween celebrations on campus to avoid costumes that  "perpetuate racial, cultural and gender stereotypes".

Students at the University of Minnesota-Twin Cities have similarly been asked to make sure their Halloween costumes are inoffensive, as well.

Do you, or does your child, have fantasies about being a cowboy in the mold of, say, the Lone Ranger?  That's a problem.  You should nip it in the bud.  After all, the Lone Ranger wasn't a "real" cowboy, was he?  Besides, what happens if someone in the school/at the party happens to be an Indian (excuse me, "Native American")?  You wouldn't want them to be offended, would you?  (Dressing up as an Indian wouldn't be any better.  You'd be demeaning their culture by pretending to a status you don't deserve.  You see?)

Here's an idea, what if two friends, one black and one white, dressed as a stereotype of the other?  That would be hilarious!  Imagine it.  The white guy (in blackface), untied sneakers, jeans hanging half off his ass exposing boxer shorts, gold chains, a hoodie and an oversized "lid" (ball cap); the black guy (in whiteface) "shit kicker" boots, baggy overalls, white t-shirt with a pack of Marlboros rolled into the sleeve, uncombed hair and novelty teeth? 

If nothing else, watching the heads of all the liberal progressives at the party explode would be worth the price of admission.

Included on the list of suggested no-no's this Halloween:
Blackface
Geisha
Squaw
"Ghetto" (either white or black)
"Gansta" (see above)
Crime (officer or criminal)
Sex worker (?! What kind of parties are these?  I guess we can't afford to offend the "culture" of the sex worker)
"White trash" (Blue jeans and white tank tops are outlawed?)
"Hillbilly" (get rid of the novelty teeth, Billy-Bob)

Progressives seem determined to squeeze every bit of laughter, fun and frivolity out of our lives.  It's Halloween!  No mature, rational adult can find offense in a costume innocently donned for a party or trick-or-treating.  It takes some real dedication to find offense in a Caucasian co-worker dressing up in a silk kimono for the office party.  Or a husband/wife team attending a party as a pimp/prostitute.

Oh, well.  At least we've still got Casper, Frankenstein, Dracula, Werewolves, and Zombies.

Wait, I think I hear complaints from the Alliance to Defend the Dignity of Imaginary Creatures.........

<sigh>

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

 

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